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My penis |
Do-re-mi
Im incomplete |
Chips
Chips |
Fuck you |
Dont be good to your neighbor
Dont be good to your neighbor
Just kill him |
Gonna sing a really dumb song and then post it online |
Said What the fuck?
Im not sure |
Ive written way too many songs, too many songs
All of them short and dumb and none of them long
And none of them strong
Tomorrow is a brand new day
Tomorrow is a brand new day
I hope Macys is open |
CHORUS: How to remember your name?
NARRATOR: You can use descriptive words in a poem about your best qualities.
The poem scrolls through the screen:
Friendly
Rememberable
Enthralling
Tranquil
Zoomy
Expedient
Liturgical
Demonstrative
Unilateral
Recursive
Mild
Factual
, which spells out as Fretzeldurmf.
On a bright pink ... |
Theres a large penis statue
In the middle of town
Theres a large penis statue in the middle of town
Its got germs on it its got monkeys on it
Its got evil on it its got rabies on it
And theres devils and children standing all around
And theres devils and children standing all around it
Havent you heard the news?
Havent... |
Eek!
I got a tape deck
I got a tape deck
Let it rattle around
I got a tape deck in my basement
Playing that classical hip hop music
I got clothing
I got skateboards
And Im trying to find my way back home
Cause Im tired and sad and got no soul
Why is it so hard to see?
Im so alone and I cant get free
I cant breathe
I ... |
Hey baby
Buy my car |
Shows the video title a Play featuring an iphone power block and a mechanical pencil.
A upward-facing iPhone power block and a magenta-coloured mechanical pencil rests on the table.
POWER BLOCK: hi
PENCIL: hi
POWER BLOCK: how was your day
PENCIL: it was pretty good i had a nice lunch
POWER BLOCK: oh good. me too
PENCIL... |
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins |
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la |
I couldnt succeed at what I’m doing |
Rickrolls the viewer by playing the intro of Rick Astleys Never Gonna Give You Up.
Types ]]] on the bottom right of the blue screen. |
Bugs |
I dont like teddy bears
I dont like teddy bears, because
Because one of them killed me |
Im standin in line
Im wastin my time
Im raisin my hand higher than
Im takin my life
Im takin my time
Im takin it right
Im sayin what I need to then
Im wavin goodbye
Im wavin my arms around
Tryna get you to see
Im wavin my big arms around
All over the screen
Ill do anything to get you to believe
And Ill do anything just... |
Im still silly
Im still silly
Im still silly
Im still siddily-diddily
I havent read the paper in 18 years
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my spaceship |
Dear Lord... oh
Make me write my songs
Make me write my songs
Make me write my songs
Oh, make me write my songs |
Im about to graduate from school
Im about to graduate from school
I can say whatever I want
And I know I can make it sound good
Heres a penguin with feet
He walks along and stares straight at me
Hes got a gun but hes not gonna shoot me
Cause he knows I know what he needs
Pistachios
Pistachios
Pistachios
And money
Im ab... |
Die |
frequently asked questions are shown inside a rectangle.
NARRATOR: Whats two plus two?
CHORUS: A billion! |
A text loading content with the loading symbol is shown.
content moves across the screen, with a car roaming back and forth in the background.
NARRATOR: I just wanna pause for a minute and analyze this content. As you can see from the position of the ca-
CHORUS: I feel like a bad person. |
A-b-c-d-e-f-g
H-i |
Go back to where you belong |
Movies are nice
Movies are cool
And I watch them all-day
Til I puke |
Snails travelling in the background while snail time!! is flashing on the screen
Synth music degraded, while the text jail time is displayed in front of jail bars |
Every day I eat bread
Every day I eat bread
And it makes me feel so goddamn right
I think Ill just sit in my bed
That dont bother me
It dont bother me and my head
Every day I try to fly a plane
That dont mean Im getting older
Im getting closer
Every day I try to make things right
Thats the reason I explode here
Trying ... |
Darkness for 60 seconds is shown. |
Synth music plays over the text tomato anxiety, with a drawn tomato behind the text.
The drawn tomato shrinks, with texts perhaps im in debt. and and unpopular also popped up under it. |
I just got home from work that puts me at home
And home is a stationary place
I think Ill shoot myself in the knee bone
My knees will be sore for the rest of time
Ow |
Shows the flashing video title cool facts about bill wurtz.
BILL WURTZ: I have a car. But its bad.
Conducts a survey to the viewers, asking the following:
did you feel as though the facts in the presentation were cool?
did the facts seem believable?
did you enjoy the facts?
how did you hear about these facts
- from a ... |
Shows the video title q&a with plants with a cartoon plant on the right
NARRATOR: Dear plant, hows your life?
CHORUS: Well Im addicted to sunshine! |
Im in Bryant Park and I feel so amazing
Im in Bryant Park and I feel fine
Im in Bryant Park with nothing on my mind and I feel fine
Ima teach you how to do a standing backflip
Ima teach you how to talk real smooth
I can show you how to do anything you want to do
But I know you dont wanna see
And I know you dont wan... |
NARRATOR: Where do babies come from?
CHORUS: Grownups!
NARRATOR: Where do grownups come from?
CHORUS: Babies!
NARRATOR: Where do babies come from?
CHORUS: Grownups!
NARRATOR: Where do grownups come from?
CHORUS: Babies!
CHORUS: Now you know! |
Shut up |
Call me old fashioned
But I still drink beans from the can |
facts about plastic flashes on the screen.
CHORUS: It tastes really good. And its real special!
thats plastic! pops up on the screen. |
We Wish You A Merry Christmas plays in the background throughout the video.
A spinning cartoon Christmas tree with the text we wish you a merry christmas, together with a couple dancing people beneath, is shown.
Coloured text and we hope that its good is enlarged.
Brand logos such as Target, Amazon, Best Buy, GameStop ... |
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home |
Dont look in a boot
I just put my boot in a shoe |
Think I just made some bread in my head |
I think the world should change
I think the world should change
I think the world should change
Oh, yeah
Ive got a feathered box and I read it
And I read it
And I read it
Oh, I read it
And I think the world can change |
What the fuck |
Yeah
I have the heebity-deebity-deebity-deebity-deebitys |
Hello |
This is not a song
I did not write it
You can not sing it
You do not just hear it
You are not a person |
You can drive a Chevy
Dot com |
Fuckin cool sports!
Showing a list of cool sports, including bad ball, racey run, answer the telephone, green man, hurdle jump, space towel, hide in the cabinet and pebbles. |
I was wondering how to feel |
I hope we figure it out |
Shows the video title asdfjaisdfjiasdjf on a blue background, and define the phrase as kindness. |
Theres no harm in saying what you mean
Theres no harm in saying what you want
Theres no harm in saying what you choose
Cause youve got to be who you are |
Im gonna hit you in the head with a baseball bat
Im gonna hit you in the head with a video game system
Im gonna name the animals one by one
And then im gonna go and have fun
Because it is the summertime
Because it is the summertime
Because it is the summertime
We like to get things right
And we like to get real high
An... |
I write stupid music
And a lot of people like my music
Damn, they must be stupid |
I feel so hungry
And I feel so lonely
What am I gonna do?
I wanna go to Burger King
I want to go to Burger King
I wanna go to Burger King, oh yeah
I want to go to Burger King right now
Yeah, yeah
Oh, man, I wanna go to Burger King. |
Types ]]]] on the bottom right of the blue screen. |
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
I dont appreciate you making things so hard for me
And I really wish you would just shut up and die
I dont appreciate you showing your face around this place
And I... |
Jingle bells
Im a cop |
Guess Ill have to go down south |
Ive been thinking a long time |
CHORUS: Conversation with a pizza pie.
NARRATOR: Hi.
PIZZA: 10100101101010101010101011101001001110101101 |
Homework help
Just try to have a good time
And dont die |
I am vibrating
I am vibrating
Because I sit here at this desk
I am a piece of lightning and thats great
Im gonna raise my right hand, then Im gonna raise my left
Cause would do anything in this world
To show you that its time to rock and roll
I cant seem to see anything home right here
No, I dont want to relate to your... |
Thinkin bout doin some content |
Gonna buy a car
And then change it |
Hi, its |
Cable television |
What am I trying to say?
Im trying to say that I wanna be free
What am I trying to say?
That I wanna be free
Free as can be
Free as can be
That means that I dont like being in jail
It aint fun and you cant go anywhere
Rap records sell, most of them are made from jail
Cause you cant go anywhere
Thats why most of them ge... |
Rocknroll confusion
Rocknroll confusion
Rocknroll confusion
Lets have fun and confuse them |
McDonalds is a great place to think
McDonalds is a great place to think
Theres nothing like hearing the sound of
Poisonous chemicals in the morning
As you drink your terrible coffee and try to think |
Cruel sports
Having a bad day
And destroying the entire world |
Throw away the garbage pail, get a brand new garbage pail |
Counts down from 3 to 1 for goats.
CHORUS: Goats.
CHORUS: Goats.
CHORUS: Ghosts. |
Gonna do the thing
Finally do the thing |
Just ran out of videos
What am I gonna do? |
Sheep |
Hello |
You know, I sometimes think to myself
What are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuck |
I dont understand anything |
Cant write songs so Ill just
Make a silly thing |
PAUL MCCARTNEY: I was always frightened of classical music. And I never wanted to listen to it.
PAUL MCCARTNEY: A taxi driver the other day had some sheet music of a Mozart thing,
PAUL MCCARTNEY: And I said, Whats that? You know, and he said
PAUL MCCARTNEY: Oh, hoh. Oh well, thats the high-class stuff. You wont like th... |
Goodbye |
NARRATOR: Pick a card.
CHORUS: Its the two of spades!
NARRATOR: OK. You can keep it.
CHORUS: Thats magic! |
Gross insides |
Grow mushrooms on the sidewalk |
CHORUS: No seriously, how do you find love?
CHORUS: Outside |
This world is filled with lots of evil spirits
They make it hard to understand
If you look left or right at any time
Youre bound to come in contact with one of yours or mine
I can feel the presence of another world inside these walls
And under these floors
I can feel the hearts and minds of millions of strong individua... |
Get outta here |
I wrote a letter to myself
And now Im opening it |
Im sexy
Im incredibly sexy
Im incredibly sexy
So im gonna sing a song about
The things i believe in
Did you know that all of the trouble
And all the problems
And all the issues and confusion in the world
Will all be solved?
Did you know that all of your
Hopes and dreams and wishes
And dirty fantasies
Are real
And they ... |
The text the origin of chickens are shown, accompanied by a cartoon chicken above the text.
Explains the origin of chickens: chickens actually comes from eggs, which come from other chickens, which come from eggs, which come from chickens, which come from eggs, which come from chickens, which come from eggs, which come... |
Hey
Lets list all the car companies in the world
Lets build a fortress
There is a Frisbee for every two trees created
There is a new tree for every me
Go build a magnet
Go build a magnet
Go build a magnet
Go! |
Shows the video title bill wurtz plans for the future.
BILL WURTZ: I should go back to space.
15 minutes later is shown as a jingle plays.
Filming Bill Wurtzs room, indicating Bill is not here and is probably in space. |
I know, but I cant say |
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